February 5

Hope in Death

You would be 32 today. As if I could forget, Facebook reminded me it is your birthday.

Clark got married a few weeks ago. You were born almost exactly a month a part.Β It was a beautiful time of celebrating the love he has for his new bride. And though I am so very happy for him, the realityΒ of aΒ wedding that will never be lurks in the shadows. It was yet another indicationΒ of the finalityΒ ofΒ your life. I’m beginning to see every milestone IΒ cross over without you will be such a reminder.

The reality of your death hurts just as much in this moment as it did upon its first blow. But the heavyΒ fists ofΒ grief don’t hit me downΒ as often as they used to. For that, I am thankful.

Though I wish you were still here, so we can enjoy weddings and Thanksgivings and yet another round of Settlers, I sometimes feel like you are missing out with all the happenings of now.Β Truly, I’m the one missing out. You are experiencing the glory and comfort and love of ourΒ Savior. No more pain. No more heartache. No more struggling.

The perfect, powerful, peace-filled presence of God.

What a solace!Β This is theΒ hope I hold fast to when the sting of your absenceΒ pains me, that God loves you oh-so-much more than IΒ do. You are in the eternal shadow of His wings.

Happy Birthday, Bubba. I love you.

hope in death


Tags

Grief, Life


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  1. Am in the midst of people or else I would have cried. This is so beautiful. I have a friend that I was just getting to know before he was killed. On his next anniversary I will write something similar for Him. Oh what a glorious day when we will all be with Jesus.

    1. Thank you, Ebos. Grieve is a mysterious journey, but there is much to learn of our gracious, comforting God. Thanks for reading.

  2. I can relate as well. I lost my brother who would be 44 on the 23 of Feb to cancer, and I find myself thinking he will call me or i can go see him and its not the case anymore. I miss him dearly here on earth and I struggle with I will not know him as I did on earth when I get to heaven, but I Hold fast to the hope that it will be so much better than I can even imagine. You don’t really realize how special your time on earth is until you lose someone you love dearly. You can never go back and do what you wish you could have done.But my faith in God and his promise I hold fast to and can’t wait to see what is beyond the veil. <3

    1. I’m so sorry, Lynn. Death certainly gives us a new urgent perspective to our moments now, doesn’t it?

  3. Katie I don’t have any “right” words. But if I could I would give you a hug. Praying for you. (((hugs)))

  4. So beautiful! Any advice on how to help a spouse dealing with the grief of losing siblings? My husband, only 43, lost two older siblings three years ago only days apart (one to suicide; one to illness) and his only living sibling appears to be nearing death from liver failure. I struggle with how to comfort him as I can only imagine the grief.

    1. Hi, Trina! Rusheika shared a post below that has been helpful to her. You might check that out?

  5. Your words are ones that I have thought and said in my head many times. Such a comfort! I’m in the third year after losing my husband quite unexpectedly to cancer, and some days the thought of his absolute joy in the presence of God and the promise of heaven are the things that keep me forging ahead. Thanks for sharing your heart!

    1. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure this is a much deeper pain than I’ve experienced. Praying for comfort! He is so good to provide.

  6. So beautiful, Katie. I love how you encourage others even through your pain. I’m so sorry you lost your brother. My son was still born last year and so I know this feeling all too well. Lots of heartache but lots of hope, too. Thank you, Jesus, for hope!!

  7. I’m so sorry for your loss Katie. I am happy though that I found you through Instagram and now have subscribed to your newsletter.
    This post hits home……yes, because I’ve lost so many family members already and yes, because I’m likely facing the end of my life as well. I received my diagnosis about a week ago and am going to the specialist today to learn for sure.
    I just wanted to say that I also read Rusheika’s post and not only is your post AND hers for those of us that have lost loved ones but it is fitting as well for those of us facing what may be our last days, months or even hopefully several years left on Earth.
    Thank you!

    1. Hi, Cheryl.

      I’m sorry to hear of your difficult news. How are things going?

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