When I look back I always feel a bit silly, but there are some decisions that I just labor over unnecessarily.
Recently, it was whether or not to put our kids on the bus. I thought about it all summer and come the first day of school, I still could not choose. Logically, it makes so much sense to use the bus system and it seemed like the best option for our family in this stage of life. Yet I had such a hard time getting on board with it.
I felt that because I am a stay at home mom, I am supposed to drop and pick them up from school. Nevermind the incredible savings and convenience it affords our family. That’s just what you are supposed to do.
Says who? I don’t know, its just what I felt I should do. (Even though I know that the shoulds of motherhood typically are not a good thing for me.) I felt as if the good, godly mothers pick their kids up from school, and that since I had no desire to sit in two separate car lines twice a day I was being selfish. Good moms choose to make the time to be there for their kids in that way, regardless of the cost.
At my husband’s prompting, I finally relented after 4 days of car-line craziness.
And we love it. The kids love it. It was a good decision for our family and I almost let mommy-guilt keep me from it.
I’m thankful that it didn’t take a long time to get over the “shoulds” of whether or not to bus my kids to school. And though this may seem like such a small decision, it was a struggle to make it. I spent too long acting as if my every decision depended on my worth as a mother.
Do you struggle with the seemingly small decisions feeling as if they are attached to your worth as a mom? Maybe it plays out in other areas of your life in how you spend your money or time? Do you rob yourself of the joy and freedom you have in Christ to use your senses and will to make good decisions—regardless of the pressures you feel to measure up?