I published a post yesterday, over at Inspired to Action, about my struggle with self-condemnation. I shared a story of how I yelled at my kids and sent them all to bed early because mommy just couldn’t do the rest of the evening.
Turns out, I am not alone in my struggle with anger—or self-condemnation.
On one hand, it is freeing—to know I am not alone in my struggle. I have found the more I write about my journey—whether it be my struggle with staying at home, my related journey through depression, or fighting perfectionism—the more I find other women fighting through the same issues.
My heart cries out for all of these women floating around and feeling alone in their struggle. So many women are confused and feeling defeated. Christian women. Ladies who have the promise of abundant living in Christ.
What’s wrong with this picture?
I started writing because I found myself lonely and isolated. I needed encouragement and accountability, and I found that through blogging. God had a much bigger plan for my time online, and it is exciting to follow where He leads.
There is just something about the online community that I love! Yet, it bothers me that so many women are struggling with finding community at home, in their own churches. Thousands of women are flocking to blogging as an outlet, because many of us feel isolated and unable to connect with women “in real life.” Even more are not writing, but reading as their primary means of encouragement, and commenting as the only way to connect with other women.
Maybe it is easier to open up to a computer screen. It doesn’t make faces at you, or show disappointment or disapproval. It won’t act differently the next time you see it. It is steady, always there, regardless of what comes out. And, we can control better what it is that “comes out”.
I get it.
The Search for Authenticity
I think the comment I hear most often, after opening up my heart, is thanks for being honest and how refreshing that is to them.
Authenticity brings refreshment to others.
I’ve seen this over and over. Through Bible studies I’ve lead—”in real life”— to posts where I share my heart. We are all longing to see others who have let go of the pretenses, and let down their walls of who they want people to think they are, and share the thing we are all thinking inside of our heads but are too afraid to say it.
This is hard. And scary. But ladies, I think this is what we are called to—as writers and as Christians—to be authentic. To be who we really are and to open up our lives to others and let them see our hearts.
And don’t let it stop online, do the same in real life.